Thursday, February 9, 2012

new shoots on what look like dead sticks

I sometimes miss my own bed.
Medieval hair.

Naomi with oak leaves.

We let Rosie sleep inside last night. She's been seeming sad lately, seeming to miss us. I don't forgive her chicken killing, but I still feel responsible for treating her as a member of the family. I might have accepted her limitations.

5% of the time, she is overcome by her impulses and gets herself in trouble. That may be true of me too.

She hasn't written me off these months I've rejected her, and continues to make significant eye contact, continues to seek my company and approval. I appreciate that.

Today I am home alone, and enjoying it. A moment of quiet before back to work this weekend. I can't quite get enough of this place. I'm looking forward to our next projects: a green house and Spring honeybee swarms. I bought a hive with a gorgeous copper roof. Now to assemble it all.

I read the book Honeybee Democracy recently. The author investigated how bees make the decision to swarm, and how they agree on a location for a new hive. The science was super elegant. It inspired me to try baiting for some feral swarms this spring using optimal cavity volume, entrance size and orientation etc.. Should be exciting!

The goats have been making spicy wild delicious milk. They are released to forage most days. They eat pine needles and oak leaves right off the tree, dancing on their back hooves to reach.

At a point though, they've eaten their fill and then get up to mischief. I looked up the hill yesterday to see Frida standing on the hood of our car. By the time we got up there, her kids had joined her.

I've felt held hostage by work this week. Eight months ago management abruptly changed my schedule for the worse. I've been making it work with the help of my colleagues, making switches to consolidate my work nights, to minimize the long drives and time away. Managers have decided not to grant my switches anymore. So I'll be driving more, and being away more.
Feeling frustrated by my inability to make this feel fair, and right. Feeling a lack of regard and respect and compassion. Trying to decide if it's a deal breaker.

This at a time when I've really been relishing my work and colleagues.

I've been escaping into George R. R. Martin's Game of Thrones book series. I like it, though it's brutal and violent and scary. Main characters keep getting killed off. Best not to get attached. But there are also zombies and mythical wolves and prophesies. I like that.

I've been enjoying dirt-under-your-fingernails, body-ache inducing weeding. We planted the raspberries, grapes and strawberries this week, and I check regularly for signs of Spring-- new shoots on what look like dead sticks.

What signs of Spring are you observing? What books do you recommend? What is worrying you? And what renews your spirit?


1 comment:

  1. Oh Juliana, how I enjoyed this entry. I can see you digging, building and relishing every moment. I remember when this country-living was such a young idea and now you've made it happen.

    Spring: I planted my first seeds ever, using little peat pots..and now little fragile green heads are poking up. You'd think I'd hatched the darn things! Phil just planted Chard, carrots, radishes and a couple more veggies in his garden. A few radish shoots are leading the fray.

    Book: I just finished House Rules by Jodi Piccoult. It's not a deep literary volume but I thoroughly enjoyed it. It is the story of a woman, her oldest son with functional autism/Asperger's and her younger son. Different chapters are written from one of their perspectives. There's a mystery involved but mainly I was totally drawn into the relationships and especially to seeing the world through the autistic boy's eyes and then from his brother's.

    Hope the work situation calms down. I imagine you being so good there and it sounds like there is much you enjoy about it. I'm wondering if your management may have received complaints about the special accommodation...or too many people began asking for their own schedule tweaks and they just couldn't handle it. Or - other issues?
    Anyway - do hope it works out for you.

    Love the braids. Waiting to hear Eli weigh in on the bb debate :-)